As summer comes upon us, the heat does too! The Shanghai heat is infamous for its high temperatures, raging humidity, and killer mosquitoes. All of which I thought I could deal with. I love the heat, I don’t have temperamental hair, and I will always be prone to mosquitoes biting me… it’s time to get over it. But it was during a typical commute home from work that the one thing that I couldn’t deal with hit me.

The smell of summer.
As I should have expected Shanghai people sweat and it doesn’t smell pretty. On the train packed in like sardines, with arms up grabbing the plastic handrails the summer heat gets the best of everyone.

It’s worse than anything I’ve ever smelled. The smell of BO is pungent, like dead animals are rotting under the seats of the train. You can even taste it in your mouth. The humid air had taken the reaping smell and turned into a wet paste that entered through your nose and landed on your tongue. A sour taste of spoiled chicken noodle soup and moldy orange juice.

One often expects the smell of summer to consist of flowers, barbeques and haystacks. For some those smells are bad because their allergies get the best of them but for most these reassuring smells remind them of the carefree days of childhood. In Shanghai, the smells of summer aren’t so grand!

Maybe the city should provide coupons for extra deodorant during the summer time!

Dear Person on your Cell Phone/Reading The Newspaper/Texting/Going Really Slow While Walking,

I understand your need to catch up/get daily news/send a quick note to a friend/appreciate your time, but you are in my way! Seriously, move. I don’t know how it is possible that you are awake at 6:40 in the morning and NOT in a rush! Who wakes up that early to take their time? Wouldn’t you rather sleep in those extra 10 minutes? Well, I would and I did so now I am barely on time and your lack of attention paying/slowness is killing me!

So please sir/madam get out of my way, put your newspaper away until you’ve reached your destination. Get emotional support for being an idiot because you can’t seem to walk and talk Mr. Cell Phone Guy. And stop acting like you have friends, you don’t know anyone and you sure as heck don’t know anyone awake right now, so leave them alone and STOP texting them! Watch where you’re going, move faster and realize that there is a heard of people behind you trying to make the train that just arrived and you are holding them up! My once swift walk has turned into a light stroll and the thumping Britney soundtrack filling my ear buds does not go with the rhythm you have put me in.  I’ve studied the art of walking in four-inch heels, I have put attention and energy into this art and you are preventing my perfect strut! SO MOVE.

I get the groggy feeling in the mornings, the sluggish movements when it’s so early but your lack of attention given to the people around you and ALL the attention given to the device is infuriating. If you don’t get out of my way I might have to take whatever it is you’re paying attention to and beat you with it.

Sincerely,

The girl behind you.

For the first time since moving to China, I am sick. My throat, my head, my nose are all functioning in the exact way I don’t want them to. For instance, my nose is running a marathon (but I have not trained for this marathon), my head is dancing to techno music (but I hate techno music) and my throat has invited all the cats from the neighborhood to take down the wallpaper (I am a dog person). All in all I feel not so hot.

Normally at home, I would call Kaiser or go to Walgreen’s and get the remedies de jour. But here I don’t have those luxuries what I do have are: about a half a dozen Cough-eeze cough drops we brought from home (I’ve already finished those), some Nyquil we brought from home (which does me no good during the day), tissues, water, some Chloraseptic we brought from home, and of course Garrett (who has turned into quite the handy butler during this time). My list of supplies isn’t bad but it isn’t enough. You see I feel a certain level of impending doom.

I wonder are my symptoms just signs of a severe sickness I contracted while adventuring through Shanghai? Or do I just have a cold and I am being ridiculous?

I’ve always heard about people here dying from Sars, the Bird Flu, or some other disease we westerners didn’t have to deal with before. I worry about my resistance to the above-mentioned diseases and any others that fill the air. (I will tell you right now; if I die because Big Bird gave me this cold I will not be a happy camper! What a way to go, just put on my tomb stone “Chicken Little killed me.”)

It’s probably nothing but I still worry. I mean I don’t know what the lady who gave me this was doing when she got sick… ohh that subway lady!! Curse her.

It all started on a typical commute home after a long day of work. In what I thought was a lucky moment I found a seat and plotted down to listen to my music and play some games on my phone. It was all quite nice until SHE stood in front of me. In her jealous rage she coughed and coughed and coughed. Did she cover her mouth, did she turn her head, did she even say excuse me? NO. She just coughed all over me as if I needed a germ shower.

Now some may say maybe I should have just gotten up and let her have the seat. But to those I say, you obviously don’t use Public Transit to get to and from work! Getting a seat is like finding a pair of black Prada pumps at the Rack in your size you don’t just give it up, EVER. And if for one second one would think that I would give that woman the satisfaction of taking my seat because she is rude. No!! What kind of lesson would I be showing her? That would only perpetuate this behavior! She would think that being disgusting, rude and inconsiderate would win her subway seats, and I will not allow for that!! No way!

I would rather be sick and know that she didn’t have the satisfaction!

But I don’t know if my protest was recognized. I do know that I am sick. And if it’s the bird flu I will not be happy.

I don’t know what was going on or if I missed the ‘boycott the subway’ memo.

On Sunday, January 25th Garrett and I rode the subway to a variety of locations. We even took multiple lines, and went to usually crowded place.

And no one.

Garrett and I had seats, we didn’t have to fight people and we didn’t have to wait in line for anyone. WHERE DID ALL THE PEOPLE GO?