To be or not to be? That is the question?

No. The question is, what is cheddar cheese?

I ask because either I don’t know or the Chinese people don’t. I know it exists. I know it exists here. In fact, on several successful shopping trips I have picked up some sharp and medium cheddar and it’s been delicious. So then I ask why is it that every time I order something with cheddar cheese does it come with a different kind of cheese? Right now for example, I am at the Coffee Bean enjoying what I thought was going to be a turkey and cheddar sandwich, instead I got turkey and provolone. Yesterday, feeling a little rebellious I ordered a cheeseburger with cheddar cheese. It came with swiss. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate all kinds of cheese but when you’re expecting one thing and you get another… it’s sad. It’s like getting into Harvard but not getting a dorm.

And yes I think cheese is just as relevant as Harvard.

Why advertise cheddar? Why be so specific? And then lie? Why play with my emotions?

Garrett and I went out to eat, yet again at one of our new favorite eateries. It’s a Japanese Bistro inside our local mall. I met Garrett at the coffee shop in the mall before we headed up to enjoy some California rolls and teriyaki chicken.

There are some unusual behaviors that we, Garrett and I, are not yet accustomed to when we eat out.

First, as you walk in and are lead to your table for two you’re greeted with the “good morning” greeting (that I have been accustomed to at all hours) by every waitperson in the place. It’s insane, they stop whatever they’re doing to turn and greet you. And I love it. I have decided that I will have to become a Queen and employee a massive quantity of waitpersons to greet me wherever I go. They’ll chant good morning to me when I enter, it will be lovely.

In the meantime, I’ll continue going out to eat and getting led to my table for two where we are handed one menu. I don’t know what it is about Restaurants in China but they only give you one menu. Even when there are two of you? Do they not have enough copies? Do they suspect that you will share in the decision making process? Maybe we’re supposed to read allowed while we browse the food selections? Not like we do much reading. Most of the menus (well all of them) are in Chinese. Garrett and I have started pointing to the provided pictures. We hope that the food looks like the picture because we have no other way of telling.

So with our one menu, we peruse the pictures and decide our meal choices all the while the waiter stands right over us. On more then one occasion the waiter has stalked us. He just stood there while Garrett and I looked over the menu. In our best efforts we tried to communicate with him that we needed more time to look over the menu, he just smiled and nodded and continued to stand there. If they’re reasoning behind stalking us is to rush us out, well it works because it makes us order a lot faster.

They also wait for your money. Once you’ve enjoyed your quickly selected meal and ask for the check it is only a matter of moments before you’re out on the street. First, they pull your bill out of a small drawer inside your table. It’s like a desk drawer hidden on the side. Through out your meal while your food is sporadically delivered your waiter will open this drawer and mark things off, he checks it off a list. And at the end they hand you that bill and wait until they get their money. So as you look at the check to get the total you better hurry with your form of payment because they wont budge until they’ve got their money.

Part of that total, is the cost of your napkin. No joke!! They charge you for your napkins!! It’s only the equivalent of like 10 cents but its itemized on your bill.

Ahh the joys of eating out.

Christmas dinner started at about 4, when Garrett and I started getting ready. I wasn’t sure what the attire would be like, and I didn’t want to be under dressed or over dressed. Since Garrett got me this amazing faux fur hooded jacket for Christmas I for sure wanted to wear that, but with what? I decided on a simple Armani Exchange black dress that I bought about a year ago but never got to wear. It has a high wasted pencil skirt bottom and beaded chiffon upper that is loose and falls over my shoulders. It’s simple but elegant enough to not make me look not homeless. I paired it with thick opaque black stockings and my black velvet Prada pumps.

This was the first time I’ve worn heels since we moved here. I have been a little scared to stand in my old shoes. The floors here are so slippery and unfamiliar. But putting them on last night, again, made everything feel a little bit like home. Usually, in San Francisco, I could run marathons in my heals, hike mountains, and since I’m so short, they made me the perfect height. Since I’ve moved here I haven’t really had the chance to storm around town in my heels and feel the power that comes when you’re those few inches taller. Last night was great because I felt like my old self. Frolicking around town in my fancy foot wear. The strength that comes with a pair of heals is unmistakable, you become a different person with different abilities. And for the adventure that was Christmas dinner, heels were just what I needed.

We left our apartment and made our way to the metro. After some typical pushing and shoving we made it to our destination. At night Shanghai is lit up with lights, lights from the buildings, sky scrapers, and signs. As we came up the escalators we saw the dark night sky lit up with the artificial lights of the city. The first thing you could see was the outline of the Bund just blocks away from the Pearl Tower and then the massive mall, the restaurant we were eating at was on the fifth floor. I was so amazed at how many people were shopping and all the stores were open, it was Christmas day at 6:00 pm. As we headed through the mall and up the escalators to the fifth floor I felt the sudden pinch of high heels. I had forgotten what it felt like, the pain of a great pair of 4 inch heels. Usually I wouldn’t feel the pain so suddenly but I’ve been out of commission for a while. I was glad to reach our destination. Garrett’s co-worker greeted us and led us into the restaurant where we were escorted to the back into a hallway and through the door to a private room. A huge circular table sat in the middle of the room, most of the seats were filled with family and friends of Allen, the host of the event and the man who invited Garrett and I. There was 3 or 4 hostess that took our coats and led us to our seats. Everyone was lovely and nice, many didn’t speak English but the few that did tried their best to entertain us. The food was entertainment enough. Duck with beak, fish with eyes, jelly fish and pork (that according to Allen was so fresh because it was alive that morning) all circled around on the giant lazy Susan that sat in the middle of the table. I decided to avoid the meat dishes.

They did provide us with King Pao chicken, and chow mien noodles. Those were great! By the end of the night a lot of people were drunk and a lot of stories were being told. It was interesting to hear about what they thought of American culture compared to theirs. Allen told us of how in China people don’t want frozen food because it meant that it wasn’t fresh and Chinese people are very particular about eating fresh food. He also told us that during the holiday’s grand children will toast with their grandparents for good luck. And that until about 10 years ago Chinese people didn’t celebrate Christmas the way they do now, more westernized.

It was interesting.

The room had this amazing view of the Bund. We could see the skyline back lit by spot lights and city lights. Giant yachts sailing across, filled with merry travelers lighted up the river. It was beautiful, like the Disneyland Electric Light Show Parade. The very scene made it feel like Christmas. It was magnificent.

After dinner, which ended fairly abruptly, we walked through the still crowded mall and back home. I was starving, so Garrett and I stopped at a local bakery and picked up some pastries before we headed up to our building.

This Christmas was so different then any other. It almost feels like it hasn’t happened yet.