I had my first Chinese payday. And I’m not talking the delicious candy treat… no no my friends I’m talking that day in the month where someone gives you money because you showed up everyday.

Chinese paydays are VERY different from home. FIRST, you only get one every month. In the states, it’s usually twice. Having it twice a month made it easier for me to budget myself and not spend it all two days in. This new system is going to require some SEVERE self-control.

SECOND, it’s all in cash. I don’t have a Chinese bank account, and China doesn’t use checks. So when it was time to get paid I got a pile of money that was bigger than anything I’ve ever seen. (And no I don’t get paid that much. It’s just the biggest bill in China is a 100RMB note, which is about 15 dollars.)

THIRD, there is a crazy counter machine that counts your money before they put it into an envelope for you. They put the bills in and just count, like a drum roll. It goes through every bill. It’s a pretty cool machine; I’d like one for home.

Needless to say it was quite the fun subway ride home. I’ve never held onto anything that tightly in my LIFE. If someone blinked in my direction I began sketching their faces into my memory. I choreographed fight moves that I would use in the event that someone would try to sneak my money away.

At work a co-worker of mine was sharing stories about all these people who get pick pocketed. One story in particular was insane.

Outside of Ikea, on a rainy day, a lady was crossing the street with her son and no umbrella when a women approaches holding an umbrella and offering shelter from the storm. Instead of shelter however, all she brought was a dusty cloud of doom. You see it was a sting operation; this lady offered support and shelter while her partner approached from behind and tried to get into the women’s purse. The women didn’t notice because the lady stood close enough and bumped into her enough so that any movement made by the pick pocketer felt like it was the lady.

Basically don’t trust anyone, because if they pretend like they want to help you, they’re probably robbing you.