Garrett and I went out to eat, yet again at one of our new favorite eateries. It’s a Japanese Bistro inside our local mall. I met Garrett at the coffee shop in the mall before we headed up to enjoy some California rolls and teriyaki chicken.

There are some unusual behaviors that we, Garrett and I, are not yet accustomed to when we eat out.

First, as you walk in and are lead to your table for two you’re greeted with the “good morning” greeting (that I have been accustomed to at all hours) by every waitperson in the place. It’s insane, they stop whatever they’re doing to turn and greet you. And I love it. I have decided that I will have to become a Queen and employee a massive quantity of waitpersons to greet me wherever I go. They’ll chant good morning to me when I enter, it will be lovely.

In the meantime, I’ll continue going out to eat and getting led to my table for two where we are handed one menu. I don’t know what it is about Restaurants in China but they only give you one menu. Even when there are two of you? Do they not have enough copies? Do they suspect that you will share in the decision making process? Maybe we’re supposed to read allowed while we browse the food selections? Not like we do much reading. Most of the menus (well all of them) are in Chinese. Garrett and I have started pointing to the provided pictures. We hope that the food looks like the picture because we have no other way of telling.

So with our one menu, we peruse the pictures and decide our meal choices all the while the waiter stands right over us. On more then one occasion the waiter has stalked us. He just stood there while Garrett and I looked over the menu. In our best efforts we tried to communicate with him that we needed more time to look over the menu, he just smiled and nodded and continued to stand there. If they’re reasoning behind stalking us is to rush us out, well it works because it makes us order a lot faster.

They also wait for your money. Once you’ve enjoyed your quickly selected meal and ask for the check it is only a matter of moments before you’re out on the street. First, they pull your bill out of a small drawer inside your table. It’s like a desk drawer hidden on the side. Through out your meal while your food is sporadically delivered your waiter will open this drawer and mark things off, he checks it off a list. And at the end they hand you that bill and wait until they get their money. So as you look at the check to get the total you better hurry with your form of payment because they wont budge until they’ve got their money.

Part of that total, is the cost of your napkin. No joke!! They charge you for your napkins!! It’s only the equivalent of like 10 cents but its itemized on your bill.

Ahh the joys of eating out.

So I had my first (quazi) job interview.

After countless hours of searching website after website, submitting resume after resume I got a call back from a man named Bruce about a teaching position.

I applied for a teaching job here in Shanghai, teaching English. It isn’t my dream or ideal job but the pay is astronomical and I am getting pretty stir crazy here without one, so I submitted my resume. A few days later Bruce gave me a call and asked if I was available for an in person interview.

Bruce works for an English teacher recruiting company. They place foreigners at International schools as English teachers. This particular job was for a Korean/Japanese International School. Obviously perfect for me, since I don’t speak Korean, Japanese, or Chinese… I am sure my students and I will get along marvelously.

Bruce and I set up the interview for New Years Day at 10:30 am (awesome, happy new year to me) at a local Starbucks, just a few metro stops away from my neighborhood.

Nervous, tired and excited I rolled out of bed early that morning in order to have plenty of time to get ready and get there. (Garrett looked up the stop and estimated a 30-minute travel time, accordingly I planned on leaving 45 minutes early, just in case.) After taking a shower, brushing my teeth and doing my makeup I scavenged through my closet to find, in the words of Clueless, my most capable looking outfit.

I didn’t want to seem to over dressed; we were meeting at a Starbucks. But I didn’t want to seem too under dressed seeing how this was a job interview. So I decided on a pair of Olive Brown Robert Rodriguez slacks, a black long sleeve t-shirt, my patent leather pumps and belt, and my black cashmere Lacoste sweater. I topped it off with my strand of pearls and a small black headband. I looked sophisticated, put together and effortless. Well at least I hoped I did.

Slowly, and VERY cautiously I headed to my first Chinese job interview. This was the second time I had worn heels out in Shanghai but the first time alone. I didn’t have Garrett to grab onto in the event I fell down and cracked my skull open. So, I walked slowly, and I starred at the ground, one tiny pothole and it could be the end.

As I grabbed onto the handrail and headed down to the platform, a stampede of people ran past me. I wasn’t going to move any faster, so like an old person on the freeway I blocked everyone’s way. As I got closer to the platform, I realized the train was there; well it was there, it was leaving. And it was leaving without me. I couldn’t go any faster and I wasn’t about to take my shoes off so I figured I would have to wait for the next one. Finally when I get to the platform I looked at the screen and realized the next train was 10 minutes away.

Damn it.

If only they didn’t clean there floors with grease and baby oil. They wouldn’t be so slippery and I wouldn’t have to ice skate from place to place.

So I sat there on New Year’s morning, in my most capable looking outfit, watching the clock count down to… the next train.

By the time I got to Starbucks, I only had five minutes left. So I ordered a coffee, headed upstairs to the seating area and began situating myself. Not surprisingly, I was the only person there; no normal person would be up that early after the biggest party night of the year. So I sat, and waited and waited. At about 10:40, I got a text message from Bruce. He was on his way and he would text me when he arrived.

It’s weird, people here have no issue texting you even if they don’t know you or if it’s business related. I always feel that texting is so casual. I only really use it to send quick messages to people I know, really know. I would never send my boss a text. But from what I am gathering people don’t seem to hesitate to send you a quick text, abbreviations and all, here.

Finally Bruce arrived, I could hear his steps up the stairway. I stood up shook his hand and my first Chinese job interview began.

I handed him a copy of my resume, and sat there expecting the usual barrage of questions. “What’s your greatest weakness? Tell me about a time… Have you ever…” Instead I was surrounded by the awkward silence and blank stares. I could hear my eyelashes blink. So I wished him a Happy New Year again. And hoped that would start some kind of conversation.

Bruce’s English was good so I couldn’t understand why he didn’t seem to have many questions for me. With no other choice, I started asking questions. What is this job like? How many students would I have? What is the pay like? What is the schedule like? … Soon I was out of questions and the slow and very awkward farewell began.

I put my jacket on and asked him if there was anything else I could provide him with.

And then, at the moment when I thought I wouldn’t get anything out of him, success…

He let me know that he would schedule an interview with the school for after the New Years holiday, which ended on the 4th, he also asked me for a photo. That one startled me. Why in the hell did he need my photo?! Was this some kind of twisted scam I had all to easily fallen into? Was he going to photo shop it to compromise any political aspirations I may desire? I smiled and let him know I would email it to him for his review.

We shook hands again and headed home, except we were going in the same direction. So we continued to walk together and make pointless chit chat until FINALLY there was a fork in the road. He went his way and I went my way.

It turns out the photo request is very typical. I googled it. I guess in a lot of countries they want to see a head shot (almost like your passport picture) along with your resume. In fact a lot of resume forms have the photo attached. Hopefully my looks will get me the job (HA!!) because if it depends on my interview, I’m SOL.

For Sale and On Sale

Two very different things.

When I go shopping, I love the hunt. Trying to find the best thing, for the best prices at the best stores. When you go shopping, odds are everything in the store is on sale, but not everything is on sale.

Every so often, during that once in a blue moon shopping trip, you will find something so amazing, so fabulous, so absolutely marvelous that you fall in love with it and prepare yourself to pay full price.

You know the feeling. When you walk into a store, you find that amazing (fill in blank) and you head into the fitting room. There in the tiny 2 x 2 room, filled with the right amount of lighting, you try on what might very well be your next favorite (fill in blank). After you squeeze it on, you stare in the mirror at the reflection of perfection. This feeling is rare, and exciting. At that moment you look at the price tag and your eyes pop out a little, its (fill in blank)!! It’s not on sale, or even worse it is and it’s that much! Then you look at your reflection again, but it makes your (fill in blank) look so good. Again you look at the price, aggravation. It makes you look so good, it makes you so happy, but it costs that much. Slowly, as you stare deeper and deeper into your reflection you begin to convince yourself. “Well it’s not that much. It’s worth it because it looks this nice. I could even wear it to (fill in blank). I needed to buy something for that anyway. Okay, I’ll get.” And with a little bit of guilt and excitement you walk out of the fitting room and towards the register. There you stand in line, continuing the debate in your head but knowing all too well it’s too late to turn back. Then you hand it over; the cashier rings it up and says, “Your total is (fill in blank).” With a look of surprise and joy you hand over your form of payment and giggle on the inside. You were entirely prepared to spend much more then the grand total. You had internalized the pain of losing that much money for that one object. You had mentally dealt with that anguish and for no reason. It was on SALE! It wasn’t marked but it was still on sale. (Or the cashier made a mistake. But shh we won’t tell.)

We all have had that experience. When I’m old and write my memoirs I am pretty sure my top 10 favorite moments in life will all consist of a time when I purchased something with the intent to pay full price but then having the joy brought back by being surprised with a sale. It’s like a surprise birthday party except it’s a surprise sale.

I bring this up because here in China, any sale is a surprise sale. Thus making shopping that much better!! Since I don’t speak, OR read Chinese I have no idea who is having a sale or what that sale is all about. I know what the price tag says, and well that’s about it.

The other day, I went into a store called “abase” which has super trendy clothing and accessories for us twenty something girls. They are a mixture of Urban Outfitters and Forever 21. While I was there I noticed a mannequin wearing a white knitted cape with thin black strips. It was so cute! It looked warm and cozy, perfect for winter. So I decided to try it on. It was perfect. It fit great; it had the trendiest arm cutouts, and amazing big black buttons. Then I looked at the price… they wanted that much for that! I was beginning to feel deterred, but then I looked in my reflection… it was too cute and it was the last one, no one else I know would have it (I think).

After the above-mentioned debate, I decided to get it. I picked it up, and an earlier discovered black belt, and headed to the register. Quickly doing the math in my head I thought I had figured out the total. The cashier rings me and shows me the total (since I didn’t understand her Chinese). It was less then half of what I expected to pay, for the cape, not to mention the additional belt. I was so excited! If the store hadn’t been thumping awfully loud Chinese pop music I am sure I would of heard the angels singing.

Guilt free I walked out of the store, bag in hand.

It was such a great feeling and it wasn’t the last time during the weekend that I would feel that. At Papa Johns (yes the pizza place) the chicken wings were half off, at Emporium (a trendy boutique) a skirt I like ended up being 30% off and I just found a vendor who sells leggings and tights for a quarter of the price of the department stores less then a block from my door step!!

Ahh… thank you for shopping at China!!!

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